Well, it’s been a long haul. Thanks for listening for 23 months. This will be my last blog entry unless something comes up that begs to be shared. I’ll keep the domain name and maybe try to do something with it down the road, but for now the cancer postings are drying up….nothing much going on, nothing really to write home about.
I’m glad I did this blog exercise, though. As I think back on what happened over the past two years, I’m fuzzy on a lot of things. I’ll have to read my own blog postings to see what in the world it was that I went through.
This whole cancer journey has been quite an experience. Terrified at first, not knowing if the cancer was even operable. Then the relief when the doctors said it was treatable. The long and unknown ordeal through radiation and chemo, wondering when the treatments would hit me. When they finally did, it knocked me for a loop, and seemed like it would never end. Super fatigued, ‘meals’ through a feeding tube, trips to the ER, and finally the long-awaited operation. Then a week in ICU, tangled up in tubes, IV’s, and monitors. Weight loss, down to 119 lbs, and great weakness from muscle mass loss. And finally the start of a long, slow recovery.
And I hope this blog has been helpful to anyone who might have to go through the same ordeal. Dueling cancer isn’t easy, but everyone’s prayers and good thoughts got me through it, and the prayers and thoughts of others can help you get through it, too. You can do it!
Thank you, whoever might be out there, thank you.
And of course it would have been impossible without Carol. She was wonderful, and this whole experience brought us closer together. She’s a dear!
Now here’s an update on my current situation, first regarding the prostate cancer. As reported in the blog last month, my PSA test in March showed an ‘undetectable’ PSA count. So that’s good. In early April I had a PET scan to check on the esophageal cancer, and it was all clear….no signs of cancer, and that’s also good! It’s been a year and a half since the operation, and my doctor said the first two years are critical, so I’m almost there.
My weight seems to have settled in the 142-145 range. I’m very happy with that. And my strength is getting better. Not great, but better. My endurance still is not real good, but I am doing some breathing exercises, and I’m about ready to go back to swimming, so maybe the endurance will improve.
In any event, that’s about it. Thanks for bearing with me these past two years, and here’s a little something from this year’s Lenten poetry exercise.
The sense of touch, it means so much
A loved one, stranger, or a pet
Simple contact, it's a compact
That we are not alone as yet.
Try to reach it, try to teach it
Hugs are free, so give them gladly
It's your connection, not to mention
You yourself might need one badly.
We're all aboard a mystery train
Whose tracks are shrouded in a mist
One day we'll leave those ghostly rails
Just one more name crossed off the list.
And everything--we've left behind
All those folks we loved so much
But maybe then we're not alone
Maybe we're gone, but still in touch.
Maybe we found an after life
A presence that's beyond the brain
A garden with a peaceful glow
That greets us as we leave the train.
Hi Chris (and Carol),
Just want to say thanks for the blog and reporting on your journey along the way. What a relief to hear how things are now, and hoping all news stays good in the future. I have two friends battling different cancers now (and just lost a third) – every journey is different. Friends and family make all the difference. Again, thanks for sharing (and thanks for the poems!)
Love and hugs to all of you,
HA
Hester Ann,
Thanks for being a faithful reader for these 23 months. I really appreciate all your comments, and they have helped me through this adventure. Good luck to your friends battling the big C now. It’s not much fun…but tell ’em to hang in there!
We visited Pittsburgh earlier this month, and it brought back memories of our trip to Chicago (and Beloit) with you and Larry. What fun that was, eh.
Love, Chris
Hi Chris,
Wow!! What a beautiful conclusion. Thank you so much for sharing your book of life with us as you struggled, lost, gained, endured, suffered, and as of this moment, overcame, all the challenges presented to you since the 1st diagnosis. I thought the inverted picture was a perfect metaphor for your lives being turned upside down. Your final poem nearly moved me to tears. It perfectly encapsulates everything I believe and feel about touch and human contact in my life. I have never been able to keep my hands off people; always craving and requiring touch. And the last three quatrains reveal a view of what happens next that is full of wonder, beauty, and anticipation. I wish I possessed your capacity to express what we all feel. I’m going to frame your poem and put it on my wall with Gudo’s. painting.
So thank you my dear friend. And to you, Carol; for bringing your intimacies into the lives of Ruth and I. I am better able to face my new days having shared our today’s and yesterdays over these many years.
Always your friend,
Don
Don,
Thank you for being a super faithful reader of my musings. Your always positive comments have done much to bolster my spirits, and I really appreciate them, and you!
And thank you for your kind words about my poems. I’m never really sure whether they are any good or appreciated, and so it makes me feel good to hear you say nice things about them. It gives me courage to keep trying to write a good poem, whether meaningful or whimsical. (It’s just such hard darn work!)
Anyhoo, I guess it’s our turn to have you and Ruthie venture to Woodland area for another lunch. Better wait a month though….Carol had her ankle operated on (tendon was messed up), and she’s going to be on crutches for a while. I’ll let you know when she’s back on ‘both feet.’
Your long time buddy,
Chris
Chris Gray-
I’m not a weekly or monthly reader, but I just read every one of your posts and am absolutely amazed at what you and Carol have gone through during the last two years! It was so good to see you at the pool this week as well as seeing you at the golf course! You have persevered through incredible obstacles and kept your great attitude! You are an inspiration to me and everyone that has had the “C” word thrown at them! So proud of you and Carol for everything you guys have gone through! Love you both!
Robin,
Thank you for your kind words and support. It’s been a long two year haul, but so far so good. Don’t know that I could have done it without Carol and the good thoughts from so many others. We’re fortunate that we both have loving supportive wives to help us through life’s trials.
I’ll be sending good thoughts and prayers your way.
I hope I get back to being a quasi-regular at the pool with all our swim buddies.
Love to you and June,
Chris